I don’t know. I’m just happy.

Last week, my officemate and I were laughing and talking of our favorite songs and she was teasing me of all, according to her, the “baduy” songs that I love to hear. Yes, I love OPM love songs, old or new, doesn’t matter, for as long as I felt its meaning. Then I said, “O sige na, lahat na ng “baduy” songs, themesong ko na”. And we both laughed. Then she said, “Wag ka mag alala, gusto ko din yung mga OPM songs like, yung sa The Company, Muntik na kitang minahal”. Then I told her I also like that song. I wondered, why it’s still not yet in my music player. That same day, at home, I downloaded the song. So, last weekend, aside from the worship songs that I’m trying to learn, I played it over and over. Even now, while writing this post. Haha! I must have been affected by the message of the song. Am I inlove? Haha! No… Not now. Secretly loving someone? Hmmm? Maybe yes, maybe no. Joke… I’m not!

Just recently, I was looking at “someone’s” picture, timing this song played, then I didn’t notice that I was staring at his photo for such a long time. There’s the feeling of adoration and admiration. Then a smile was painted at my face. 🙂 Enough of the fantasy and wake up in reality, I thought. It’s a nice feeling being inlove, or not really inlove, even infatuation or inspiration. Well, my status is neither of those. Liar! 🙂

Okay! I’m just happy with everything that’s been happening in my life. A major one is that I already reached this month, the production target I needed for my regularization at work. Glory to God! Indeed, patience is a virtue. Plus God. Little by little, things are starting to fall into the right places. One time, a brother in SFC told me, he’s not feeling alright. Then I asked him if he’s sick. He told me, no, it’s not about that, he feels sad and empty again.  I told him, “maybe you needed more time with God, you haven’t attended the CLP eversince you graduated”. It’s true when the speaker says that “Your real journey towards God starts after CLP”. After my graduation in CLP, I was not yet 100% alright spiritually, I was searching and yearning more of God. I was attending CLP every Sat., but I want more, and so why I am attending the Feast every Sunday even if I have no companion.

I’m wondering what changes happened inside of me so far. I should have asked the people I interact the most. But honestly, I’m joyful these past few months. I can now smile sincerely. Before,  I rarely smile, and if I smile, it’s like a broken smile, ’cause i was really sad and feeling empty before. I can’t find reasons to smile during those times. I can’t laugh hard. But now, seems like the other way around. I’m cheerful, inspired, joyous, optimistic, thankful and blessed. And I owe it all to God!

SMILE! 🙂 If we all, could just smile. Good night to everyone who’ll stumble at this post. 🙂

***By the way, here’s the lyrics of the song I just can’t get enough this past few days.

May sikreto akong sasabihin sa ‘yo
Mayroong nangyaring hindi mo alam
Ito’y isang lihim itinagong kay tagal
Muntik na kitang minahal
‘Di ko noon nakayang ipadama sa ‘yo
Ang nararamdaman ng pusong ito
At hanggang ngayon ay naaalala pa

Muntik na kitang minahal

REFRAIN:
Ngayon ay aaminin ko na
Na sana nga ay tayong dalawa
Bawat tanong mo’y iniwasan ko
Akala ang pag-ibig mo’y ‘di totoo
‘Di ko alam kung ano ang nangyari
Damdamin ko sa ‘yo’y hindi ko masabi
Hanggang ang puso mo’y mapagod
Sa paghihintay kay tagal
Saka ko lang naisip muntik na kitang minahal

‘Di ko noon nakayang ipadama sa ‘yo
Ang nararamdaman ng pusong ito
At hanggang ngayon ay naaalala pa
Muntik na kitang minahal

REFRAIN:
Ngayon ay aaminin ko na
Na sana nga’y tayong dalawa
Bawat tanong mo’y iniwasan ko
Akala ang pag-ibig mo’y ‘di totoo
‘Di ko alam kung ano ang nangyari
Damdamin ko sa ‘yo’y hindi ko nasabi
Hanggang ang puso mo’y mapagod
Sa paghihintay kay tagal
Saka ko lang naisip
Muntik na kitang minahal

Hanggang ang puso mo’y mapagod
Sa paghihintay kay tagal
Saka ko lang naisip
Muntik na kitang minahal

***I should sleep now. No more lates at work Bern. 🙂

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