My Valentine’s Day

Hello guys! Happy Valentine’s day!

Today is my day off. It’s the day of the lovers but since I am single, I did not celebrate this day with someone. I stayed in the flat, in my room with the company of myself. I’m trying to rest my body because I still have my bad cough. Going outside in a cold weather may not be beneficial to get rid of this cough that’s why I decided to stay at home. And I did enjoy my company. I didn’t feel sad or lonely. Maybe a bit, but it was fine. I’d rather spend this day alone than to go out or find a date just to say that I celebrated Valentine’s day with someone else.

The truth is, I want to wait for the right man. If marriage is the path that God wants for me, then I will surrender to His will and wait for the man that He has prepared for me. This waiting may indicate that I would have to spend Valentine’s day alone, then so be it. I am willing to wait. Staying in my flat on Valentine’s day alone may not have an impact in my life at present but I know in the long run, I will benefit from this and that I will reap what I sow.

I don’t mind getting married on my mid 30s or late 30s, for as long as it is the right time and that I will be marrying the right person. I know if it’s God’s timing, I will be in the right disposition in life in a way that I can give my full time and attention to my future family.  When I get married, family with be my number one priority next to enriching my relationship to God. Because without God, all are nothing. Family over work, over friends, over travels, over leisure and all the luxuries in life. Family commitment is important. I do not want to shy away from my real goal just because I am here in London.

Quick update from me.

I have this bad cough for 4 weeks now. The thing is, whenever I have a cough even when I was still in the Philippines, it takes a month or more before it will be completely gone and the same thing happens here in London. It’s just not a nice feeling to have crackly cough and cough when I’m in the training or at work. I wanted to have a doctor checked this but I am unable to get an appointment to my GP (General Practitioner) as the appointment is always full everyday. So when I went to our ward to attend my Tracheostomy training, I have told my ward manager about my cough and that I couldn’t get an appointment with my GP. She told me that I could ask the Respiratory Registrar in our ward to examine me ’cause she has a clinic and if ever I need medications, she can give me a prescription. So she called the Registrar, her name is Iris (she’s so lovely, soft spoken and very kind, I know her because I’ve been working with her in the ward). We went inside the Sister’s office so she can auscultate my chest and breath sounds. She said that my lungs are clear and it could probably be a viral infection. According to her, she can prescribe an inhaler for me, or if I want, I can monitor my cough (because she really wants me to cough it out and not to suppress the cough) and if it gets worse, I will need to see her in the clinic next week. It gave me a reassurance that there’s nothing to worry about and that my cough will clear up eventually. ‘Cause I wouldn’t want this cough to develop into chest infection or pneumonia if I didn’t have myself checked by a doctor.

Apart from that, another thing that I look forward to is studying again for a Respiratory course. I applied for another course which is Chronic Respiratory Disease Management in London South Bank University, Havering campus. The senior nurse in our ward, Ate Lottie, was accepted on this course and she asked me if I also want to apply so we can take the course together. I told her, yes, I would love to attend trainings and courses related to our ward because there’s still a lot of things that I need to learn. First, I asked for permission from our ward manager, Katherine.  She replied on my message saying that she had asked our Matron, Diane and they would both support my application. Katherine is the kindest and she always supports us whenever we want to enroll in a course that can benefit us in our work.

On February 12, I participated in the Common Medical and Surgical Emergencies with the FY1 doctors and 3 nurses and we did simulation of some emergency situations. The FY1 doctors were so nice, as well as the A&E consultant and ITU consultant, and the instructor, Gareth who facilitated the training. When you’re wrong, they don’t say you’re wrong, they offer alternatives and what could have done better.

February 13, I went to the Moving and Handling training in the morning which is an update on our knowledge on how we can maximize the use of the different Moving and Handling equipment like sliding sheets, hoist and sara steady. Ruben was our instructor and he discussed scenarios on how we can properly use equipment to move the patients without compromising our back or our safety and the patient’s safety. In the afternoon, I attended the Tracheostomy training of Jonathan. I’ve handled a lot tracheostomy patients in our ward and after the training, I’ve got clearer understanding about tracheostomy, laryngectomy and how to care for these patients. And also not to forget, I also took the Preceptorship Training on February 4 because I am the Preceptor of a newly qualified nurse in ward. So basically, I will be supporting this colleague of mine on how to be able to transition to the new role and adapt in the ward.

So yeah, I’ve been absorbing a lot of information lately but I embrace it because I am able to discover new things about myself, my faith and my profession. It hasn’t been easy but everytime I become unmotivated, I ask for forgiveness from God, I forgive myself (I try not to be too harsh on myself), keeping in mind that every challenges is a learning opportunity.

I am owning this season of my life, single and waiting and enjoying and learning a lot until such time when life enters a new chapter. When? I do not know. I leave everything in God’s perfect time.

Pinky Promise

Pinky Promise

According to Wikipedia, pinky promise is the entwining of the pinkies of two people to signify that a promise has been made.

In every phase of our life, we will face a challenge.

This led me to a quote in my head about waiting. And that is, “Anything worth having is truly worthy waiting.” There is a time for everything. I have to wait for the right time to get married. Because it is also me who set the standards that, in the future when I get married, I promise myself that me and my future husband should be together after the wedding. I will be back. I will come home for good, definitely. But I need to wait for the right time. While waiting, I will study, acquire experiences, get myself ready and sufficient for when the times comes that I have to go back to the Philippines to settle for good, I am mentally, emotionally, physically and financially  ready and equipped to use my learnings in London to build a better life in the Philippines. I believe in my heart that there’s a lot of opportunities in my country. I will improve myself, build my confidence through speaking and remove my naivety that I still have even though I am already approaching my 30s. I know I have a lot of potentials, I just have to develop them and push myself to believe in myself.

I also need to remind myself when I’m feeling sad and homesick, “Think of what London and UK can offer you. It can be new and exciting experiences, it can be different insights about life you will acquire after travelling, it can be professional growth and expertise. There are hundreds of reasons to love what I do now and appreciate where I am right now.” Living independently to a different city teaches me to be more responsible knowing that I have the total liberty, enough money, freedom, unlimited and fast internet connection, exposure to good looking men and women, and with all these, it is knowing how to take responsibility for myself, sticking to my values and stopping myself from being tempted to life traps.

What will I do with the opportunity handed to me? I know I should use this to help and inspire others who are also dreaming in the small town, urban area or in their dark room at night. I have told myself, I don’t want to change. Living in a first world city, living a good life, sometimes it is inevitable to want to keep up with the trend and lifestyle. But I want to keep the simplicity in me.

That is my Pinky Promise. Before this, I have only done pinky promises when I was young. But looking back, these were the most honest, most sincere and most innocent promises we can ever give.