My takeaway from the movie “Always Be My Maybe”

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During the first week of the released date of the movie ‘Always be my maybe’, I was able to watch it with my very good friend Coleen in Robinson’s Magnolia.

The story is about the relationship problems of twenty-something people. I think that single people in this age group can definitely relate to the story. For those who had broken up with their girlfriend or boyfriend, if you’re a guy or a girl who fell for someone and was left hanging, for people seeking for love and are hoping to find The One, this movie is for all of us. We can get a glimpse of what’s going on in a guy’s mind when he hangs out with a girl and a girl’s perspective about being treated special by a guy.

Why is this movie a hit? Because it is so real. I, personally, can relate to it. Not really in every scene but in being down at some point in my life and in being hurt. Relationship issue is always a very interesting topic because the development task for young adult is intimacy vs. social isolation. This adult task is about engaging into meaningful relationships with the opposite sex, finding a life partner, getting married and starting a family. Young adults want a movie that they can identify with.

During the night, after watching the movie, I silently reflected in my life and remembered my experiences in the past. I get to understand that sometimes in life, we hurt people unknowingly and unintentionally. I do not want lose the capacity to trust and to hope that one day, The One and I will be at the same place at the same time and our love story will begin. Just like the lead characters in this movie.

Beauty in Vulnerability

06/26/2015

Dear “Future The One”,

I have a lot of things to tell you. So while I still haven’t met you, I will write, and will just show this letter to you in the future.

You know what, I can’t sleep. Headache. Tears are on my eyes. I don’t have problems right now. Why tears? I just keep on wondering when will I see you, when will you enter my everyday, when will you be part of my life?

I won’t give up in believing that one of these days, soon, you will arrive. And the longingness, excitement, all the tears that has fallen through the years of waiting will be all worth it.

I want to tell you my everyday experiences, how adrenaline has taken over my entire self whenever there are emergencies happening in the workplace. I want to tell you the realizations I have everyday, from the simplest things like being grateful for waking up every morning to being appreciated at work. I want to tell my fears and worries, if there’s any. And above all, I want to tell you my dreams, my plans, my goals, the things that I’d like to learn like applying make up on myself and braiding my own hair. I want to tell you of my plans of working abroad, of the preparation for it, of the exams I have to take, of the nervousness and anxiety that I feel as that exam is nearing. I want to tell you all the failures I had in the past. Failures they maybe, but I also call them as redirection. I want to tell you of the amazing speech and life lessons I learned from Steve Jobs in the Stanford graduation ceremony. Basically, I have a lot of stories to tell. But just to be clear, I’m not talkative. I just have a lot of stories to tell. So please, hurry up! Find me! Talk to me! Don’t give up on us.

I’ll wait for you patiently.

Your “Future The One”,
Berna

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This is probably the most vulnerable thing that I will share. I learned through an inspirational speaker Brene Brown that there is beauty in vulnerability. It’s about being real of your feelings and not thinking of what others will say. The letter above was from one of the random thoughts I had sometime in June.

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Here are the lessons Brene Brown has shared in one of her speeches.

According to Brene Brown:

Connected people believe that what makes them vulnerable makes the beautiful. Connected people are willing to say “I love you” first and take relational risks. They are willing to get hurt. This is fundamental to a connected person.

Questions to ask ourselves:

*Am I willing to be vulnerable eventhough there is no guarantee?
*Am I willing to love with my whole heart?
*Can I practice gratitude and joy in the face of rejection? In the face of risk?
*Am I communicating to others that they are enough, even as they are?
*Do I believe I am enough? Do I believe I am worthy of love?
*Do I understand that my beliefs I am worthy of love directly connects with my ability to connect with and love others.
*Are you afraid to be vulnerable?
*Do you believe you are a safe person people can be vulnerable with?

In order for connection to happen, we must allow ourselves to be seen. We must overcome our shame. A sense of worthiness is connected to a sense of love and belonging. People who have strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. What keeps us out of connection is the feeling we are not worthy of connection. People who are living out of a sense of worthiness are whole hearted.

Being whole hearted means:
1. Having courage. Courage means to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Whole hearted means we have the courage to be imperfect.

2. They have compassion for themselves, and therefore have compassion for others.

3. They have connection. As a result of accepting themselves and having courage to project who they really are, along with having compassion for themselves and others, they were able to be authentic, and therefore connect with others. They are willing to let go of the idea of who they should be in order to accept who they are.

P.S. Can we all be brave enough to be vulnerable?