What is that SOMETHING?

The workshop I attended last Saturday in the SFC Icon is entitled, “There’s something about Mary”. Why did I choose this workshop? Actually, I was discerning for a while what to choose. I think it took me 5 times of Facebook opening for several days, and read the list of workshops again and again before the above title struck me. I remember what I felt when I read the lines from the description of workshop. It says, “How in our lowliness, powerlessness, we can see the Lord’s light shine in our lives”. Once, we’ve been in our lowest.

The speaker said, “There is something about Mary, what is that something? We’ve grown curious about that something. But what is it?”

It’s not actually something, but someone. There’s someone about Mary. And that is Jesus. Jesus is the point of Mary. We shouldn’t stop to Mary, because Mary is the vessel towards Jesus. Our devotion to Mary should always lead to Jesus to strengthen our faith in Him.

The speaker presented a picture of Mary looking very disturbed upon hearing what the angel Gabriel had told her, that she’ll become the mother of the son of God. The picture of Mary had shown that she felt unworthy, confused and doubtful of herself. But why is it that among other women during that time, she was chosen to carry in her womb the son of God. It was because of her simplicity, humility and faith.

The implication…. Once or several times in our lives, we received a blessing or are wanting something, but then, we doubt our capabilities that we are deserving of that blessing. In what aspect? A lot. In our career, in discerning for our one true love, etc. For example, we met our ideal man/woman before. And upon knowing them, we’ve felt that we are not worthy of that person or worthy of the love we’ll receive from them. They’re too perfect, too good to be true, too good looking and too kind for us. With those worries, we hide away and locked the door of our hearts. It actually shows lack of self confidence. What we learned from Mary, despite her worries and feeling of inadequacies, she accepted the calling and just trusted God.

I also feel unworthy sometimes. Now, I realized to accept great tasks and responsibilities handed to me and welcome special people in my life. It’s a challenge. God will not give us something we cannot handle. Let’s us trust and have faith in our hearts. Now I know the reason why I was in the seminar, to remove the feeling of unworthiness in my heart. To God, we are always worthy. And we are always enough. GREAT GOD.

Green thumb

I can still remember a story in my reading book in grade 2 entitled Green thumb. The story is about a girl named Maria. Maria is known to her barrio as a lady with a green thumb. It is, that whatever she plants, will grow abundantly. With the fascination from that story and with my young and innocent mind, I’ve always wanted to be like Maria. Having the skills to plant and grow flowers and vegetables. I had the idea, but I just can’t give my 100% in fulfilling that goal. I tried, but sometimes I procrastinate. So sad…

But hey, when I went home to the province this Christmas vacation, I noticed in our backyard the pineapple leaves I planted several years ago (3 years ago I think). It has grown larger and longer. It’s now more than 12 inches tall. When I planted it, it was only like 3 inches tall. I don’t know anyone being able to plant pineapple in Nueva Ecija. Pineapple is known to be harvested in Bukidnon. Now, I’m still waiting for my little pineapple to bear a fruit. If it happens, I’ll record and update it only here. No matter how small the fruit it bears, I would be so happy to eat and share it to my family. I’ll be proud to have planted a pineapple, all by myself.

Here’s my pineapple tree. =)

 

But the greatest of these is LOVE.

Grateful and overwhelmed are the two most felt emotions I had this year 2011. Though there were challenges when looking back, it’s still a wonderful ride. I learned a lot, I had nice experiences, I shared moments of laughter (laughed like there’s no tomorrow), I sang, I danced, I cried, I served, I worshiped and a lot more productive deeds.

In the advent recollection I attended last December 10, 2011 in St. Jude Church, Father Rocky discussed the importance of the true meaning of happiness and love. He defined happiness as the legitimate source of love and sharing. As Saint Paul made a meaningful illustration of LOVE. This is very true…

Language – Love = Soundless

Give everything + Martyrdom – Love = Valueless

Give all to the poor – Love = I am nothing

What we do not need, we should not own.

Here’s a famous chapter in the bible talking about love.

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. (1 Corinthians 13:1-13)

 
Lord, THANK YOU for these realizations. I will always have these in my mind.

Today… I am twenty-three.

Few days ago, again I felt something strange. It was a usual day for me. I woke up 7 in the morning, had my breakfast, took a bath, prepare myself to work. In the office, a client asked me what is the date. I looked at the calendar, and I was a little bit “shocked” to see that it was already December 1, 2011.  Let me clarify this, I am logical that time. =p But it was only then I realized that it’s been almost a year since my 22nd birthday. Time flies so fast, especially when we are enjoying. Now, it has been a year. Twelve months of complex dreams, opportunities, emotions, feelings and adventures were gained before my 23rd birthday.  And I’m sure, there will be a lot more exciting ones in the coming days, months and years.

A while ago, an officemate surprised me and gave a gift before I left the office. A letter was inside it, and when I read it on my way to Loreto Church via LRT, I got teary-eyed when I read these specific lines: “Stay good =) Hindi for me… But for the Man who died for us.”

Another reflection a few days were these lines I read from Bo Sanchez’s blog. It says:
God didn’t create you for you.
God created you for others.
You’re not here in this planet for yourself.
You’re here to be a rich blessing to others.

Being selfless. Lord, thank you for another blessed year for me.  My best year so far.

My first project

Last Nov. 13, 2011, I attended the Powerpoint and Moviemaker workshop organized by another SFC chapter, from 1-B.  It was so generous of them to share their knowledge and expertise in this area. I learned a lot, coming from someone whose course in college was completely not related to computers and its applications. I now have an idea on how to navigate the ribbon toolbar in the powerpoint and moviemaker.  I was so impressed in Windows Live Moviemaker. My! It was so easy to use. After the workshop, I got excited in making my first movie /or music video. I just finished one before making this post. To all experts who’ll see this, I think this isn’t bad for a beginner. =) Enjoy!

***Ooops! I’m having a hard time uploading the video. And it’s late in the evening. Will upload it tomorrow.

My battlecry… while waiting.

While I’m Waiting :

(John Waller)

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting
I will serve You
While I’m waiting
I will worship
While I’m waiting
I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait

I’m waiting
I’m waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I’m waiting on You, Lord
Though it’s not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting
I will serve You while I’m waiting
I will serve you while I’m waiting
I will worship while I’m waiting on You, Lord

– This song already says a lot about waiting. There are important words and phrases mentioned: though it’s painful, obedience, faithfully, serve, worship, peaceful, though it’s not easy, running the race, bold, confident, hopeful, peaceful, etc.

For me, the significance of this song assures me that despite lacking in other aspects of my life, I will still pursue and persevere for it and wait for the right time that God will grant them to me. I don’t know when, I don’t know how, I don’t know where. But one thing’s for sure, I have my 100% trust in God, that in His time, everything I aspire will be given to me. While I’m waiting for so many things in my life, I will serve and worship the Lord. Just like what I’m doing now. I know time will come I will also be inactive in the community for whatever reason,either of the following: if I pursue my nursing career in the province, if I pursue it abroad, or if I get married in the future. I always say this to myself. “Hangga’t kaya ko, hangga’t pwede pa ako, I will serve the Lord, with all that I am and with everything that I have. ‘Cause I’ll never know what will happen in the future so might as well give my all on it.

***I also want to watch the movie  Fireproof. The song, “While I’m waiting”, is the original soundtrack of the movie. 🙂

Weather I like it or not…

Let me describe first the weather. Today’s Sunday, about 4pm in the afternoon. And I haven’t seen the sun shine this day. It’s been raining for most of the morning. And now, the rain has stopped, and was replaced by a cloudy weather. Or should I describe it as a gloomy weather. I say it, a kind of day I both like and dislike. Externally, i like, but internally, i dislike. Did you get it?

I like for the simple reason of the comfort it gives. The feeling of a cold breeze touching our skin. Since I don’t live in luxury of aircon in the house, so this weather is a good energy saving method for us not to use electric fan anymore, so less electricity consumption. It’s also nice to sleep in the night surrounded with cold breeze. But as I look at my window this time, what I see is a lonely view of nature (well, for my own perspective). A wet surrounding, with no children playing in the streets, lots of empty spaces, no voice of children laughing. It’s like there’s no wind, and the leaves of the trees seemed to have no life, it’s just stagnant. I’m used to seeing the leaves and trunks of the trees being swayed by the strong wind. And now, it’s just blank. And so is my mood.When it rained a while ago, I thought my heart will cry too.

Well I just I have to thank God for this weather. The rain was not so destructive as what happened during other typhoons.

I’m hoping to see sunshine, blue sky, and rich fluffy clouds tomorrow.

From a great blogger.

-I’ve come across another blogsite which I think is tailor-made for me. =) It’s tombasson.wordpress.com. I stumbled in this site when I was reading the Freshly Pressed page. And it also happened that we have the same background. =) Here are some of the thoughts I liked. From one post entitled, “All the Single Ladies Put Your Hands Up!“:

Be willing to suffer:

What this means for you is that your love story needs to have a lot of lonely crying in it. Believe it or not, there will come a day when a man will fall madly in love with you and you will have the honor of sitting down with him one special night to explain that, while you weren’t perfect, you turned down plenty of guys and cried yourself to sleep hoping somebody would come around and treat you with respect. He will be honoured by this, and he will love you and feel humbled.

So, if you want a great love story, start training for it today. Start suffering, like somebody training for a marathon. Do the pain, suffer through the nights where you cry in your pillow, have some faith and stop cheapening your love story with scenes you’ll never be able to edit out.

-You’ll never thought that these advice would come from a man. A great man he is, Tom Basson.

Nevertheless… I expect.

***Deep sigh***

And suddenly, I forgot how to write. I just don’t know how to start. I told myself before not to post anything negative again. It’s hard to put something into words that’s basically, not what we truly feel. And I know why I’m finding it hard to put things into words, ’cause what my mind says are opposite to what I feel. I want to write only positive thoughts, and suppress negative feelings and emotions. It’s hard. I want, as much as I can, to be honest. I just can’t put things into words. Grrr… I’m being redundant.

I want to share a story of a beautiful blessing granted to me by God last week. What I’m REALLY GRATEFUL for to God are the inner values He taught me . When everyone around has given up, it was the Lord who gave me an optimistic behavior. He was like a fire burning in my heart telling me to believe and hold on to my expectations. My mindset before is not to expect at all, for me not to feel disappointments. I practiced that all my life, until 2 months ago. That thinking is vividly written in my mind. But as a human being, I unconsciously let myself expect for things not certain. Oftentimes, I ended up being hurt for expectations not met. Then I promised myself not to expect again, but as a human being, I can’t help it. I told others not to expect or I’m not expecting anything.  But deep inside, I am. And then one writing has gotten my attention. I forgot where I read that. Oh! It’s in Bo Sanchez’s blog. I forgot the exact words or phrases, but I remembered the message. He says, there’s nothing wrong with expecting. Because without expectations, we will not have anything to look forward to. I added another point. “I won’t give up on all my expectations. Nevertheless, I’ll accept the pain of disappointments that comes along with expecting”. They say, “Just hope but don’t expect”. But it’s hard to distinguish the difference between hoping and expecting. But hey! I got a permission from Bo Sanchez that it’s just alright to expect. But what helped lighten what I feel is the acceptance of future disappointments. At least, as early as now, I am ready to get hurt anytime. It’s not easy, but I know, with God’s love, everything will turn out right. I really love this verse, ” I can do all things through

Christ who strengthens me”.

Back to the blessing given to me last week. It was the power of belief that kept my spirit alive. It’s true, if you truly believe, you’ll make it happen. And it’s only God’s love that can satisfy all the longingness, emptiness that we feel inside. Everyday is a battle. We can win this battle if we have God in our hearts. I may be super happy yesterday, and I can be really sad afterwards. But I know, the greatest lesson is to never forget our God. To always go back to Him in times of uncertainty. Or just put Him all the time in our hearts.

Nevertheless, I EXPECT for great things to come my way with God by my side.

*** I didn’t expect my post to turn out to be this long and to end up talking about my gratitude to our God. But that’s what I feel. Thoughts came and words were written. Thank you Lord!

You are the ONE.

Lord, you are so great. Thank you for making me really happy. I don’t know how it happened, how I came to know You more but there’s a certain magic that brought me into You. It’s in Your plan. I’ve been struggling with so many things (You know what they are) for the last years and it made me pessimistic sometimes, but at the end of the day, You still manage to give me hope and the level of optimism outweighs all the negativity. For the last couple of years, I wanted to be closer to You, wanting to know You more, and I realized that there’s a proper timing for everything. Now’s the right time for me to get to know You. Thank You for giving me people whom I draw my strength and positive attitude, for surrounding me with individuals who inspire.  It’s because of You that I can honestly say to myself that I am happy. I’ve been listening to the song, You are the one,  for 2 days already. This is actually a love song/ wedding song, but when I heard of this song the other day; I thought of You. So I downloaded the song, and repeatedly play it. You always come across my mind most specially in these lines:

You are the one that I’ve been searching for my whole life through

You are the one that I’ve been looking for and now that I found You

I’ll never let You go

I’ll hold You in my arms.

‘Cause You are the one.

*Thank you Singles for Christ West B1-A chapter. I’m happy with the community.