Will you forgive me?

Found this on my writing pad that I usually place in my bedside table. I always have a writing pad at the bedside because if I have ideas before I sleep or any ideas that pop into my mind (anything and everything under the sun), I can easily write and not forget them. This is true. Once it’s not written, it is forgotten. Do not trust your memory.

And I quote,

There are days when you are very confident, that whatever unfortunate things that happen to you on a day, you can easily brush if off. But there are also days when your self-esteem is at its lowest. You just wanna feel okay by telling yourself, “Everything will make sense in the future, in time.” Count your blessings. Be grateful for the simple needs (basic needs) that you have right now. Don’t compare yourself with other people. You will be fine. This heartbreak will pass.


I’ve written this a long time ago. I can’t remember when. I’ve learned a lot and I can say that I am a better person now than I was before. Through this experience, I have come to know more of the Lord and strengthen my relationship to Him. I have one thing that I pray every night. I pray for forgiveness. I know that I have forgiven myself and I have forgiven Ryan, but if there’s still hurt or regret that lies deep within our hearts, I pray that the Lord will take that away. I pray that Ryan will forgive himself, and that he will forgive me too. That he will forgive the two of us. He didn’t hurt me, neither was I to him. It’s just the timing of our relationship. He really is a good man and I wish him well. Asking for forgiveness not in a sense of getting back together. It means recognising and being grateful for the wonderful memories you have shared with another person even if you didn’t end up together.

Forgiveness is the most powerful tool for us to be at peace within ourselves. Because if God has forgiven me from all my sins, who am I not to forgive. That’s why I pray everyday to always forgive and not hold grudge to anyone. And that I will also be forgiven by the people I hurt in the past and those that I hurt unknowingly.

Time to sleep now. Good night.:)

Takeaway From Last Sunday’s Homily

Hello… Monday again, this is the start of another week. I want to share the message I received yesterday from attending the mass in St. Joseph’s Church, New Malden. I am supposed to attend a service in Hillsong Church with friends in central London yesterday but since I don’t feel fine and I was so tired from 3 consecutive long day shifts from Thursday to Saturday, I just decided to attend the mass in a nearby church and stay at home after and rest.

I noticed that I am drawn to St. Joseph’s Church wherever I am. When I was in Manila, I used to attend the mass in St. Joseph The Worker Parish in Balintawak, Quezon City. Here in London, I chose to attend St. Joseph’s Church in New Malden and when I travelled to Sicily, Italy, one of the old churches I found fascinating is San Giuseppe dei Teatini church in Palermo. I think it’s also St. Joseph Church (when translated to English), or I may be wrong. I asked the priest inside the church if it’s a St. Joseph Church and he said, yes.

I remember years before, my friend said that when you are praying for The One, you should pray for that person in St. Joseph’s Church. It is because Joseph is the husband of Mary, and he is the ideal foster father for Jesus. I am always praying for my The One, anywhere. But I think it is a coincidence that I get connected to the messages the priests are delivering through the homily in these churches.

St. Joseph The Worker Parish in Balintawak, Quezon City

St. Joseph’s Church in New Malden, London

San Giuseppe dei Teatini in Palermo, Italy

Yesterday, the priest in New Malden mentioned in his homily about the purpose of the creation of laws, ten commandments, and the policies governing our lives. He said that laws are created to protect ourselves and other people. For example, we all know that drunk driving is prohibited. This law is created to protect you and other people from the accident. “When you drink, do not drive, when you drive, do not drink”, he added. Another example is about one of the Ten Commandments which is, “Do not kill.” The priest said, you have your life, and I have my life, why are you gonna take away my life? The next one is about lying. When you lie, you break the trust of the other person that you will be honest at all times. He said these laws are created not to inhibit us from doing the things that we want to do but to protect ourselves and other people. Sometimes, we wonder why are they creating such laws or policies? But we also have to think why these laws are created in the first place.

It is for us….

It is to protect us and other people. Now I understand its purpose and it made me realised that with the small laws that is being implemented whether it be at my work, in my flat, in the road, etc., adhering to these are for our own sake.

Something we all need to ponder.


P.S. This post was written a week ago. All images are from google.com.


“Keep your heart clear and transparent and you will never be bound.” – Ryokan


Have a great day everyone!