Cardiac Arrest Experience In The Ward

It was a regular night shift, I was assigned in the middle bay when I heard the charge nurse speaking to the Outreach nurse that one of his patients was not alert and oxygen saturation going down. We immediately went to the room and saw the patient unconscious and pale looking. I went back to the nurse station to dial the emergency hotline to ask for adult resuscitation team to come to our ward. I had experienced several cardiac arrest situations in my nursing career when I was still working in the Philippines but it was rare here in the UK. One of the reasons is that since the majority of our patients are aged 70 to 100, if they deteriorate, they or their family were choosing the DNAR or the do not resuscitate status if their heart stops beating.

Unfortunately, we were unable to revive the patient even though we did our best. The leader of the resuscitation team said after, “Good job everyone.” The reason why I am writing this experience is because after the cardiac arrest, I was very silent and there were a lot of thoughts running through my head.

The resuscitation team made a team debrief after and we’ve talked about what happened. The two senior doctors facilitated the team debrief and they’ve discussed why we stopped the resuscitation. The female senior doctor said that everyone’s role is vital because we are a team. During the resuscitation, she asked everyone if we agree to continue the resuscitation of the patient, only few members answered but we still carry on the resuscitation and the reason why she asked us all to answer is because she values the decision of everyone. She said we should never ever say that “I am just an F1 doctor” or “I am just a band 5 nurse” or “I am just a cleaner.” She wants us to speak, for example, it might be that the patient had said something to us during the day that is very vital for us to continue the resuscitation.

Another important thing she said is to listen to what is being said for the update of the situation and for the delegation of task. And since the patient is in an isolation room, she said that appropriate PPE (Personal Protective Equipment such as gloves, masks, etc.) must be readily available inside the room because we still have our families, our children, our partners that we love that’s why we should take care of ourselves.  

This is my first cardiac arrest experience as band 5 staff nurse in the hospital, and the resuscitation process in the Philippines is different here in the UK that’s why I was still grasping and watching what everyone was doing. And by hearing from the doctors say, “Good job everyone”, I said to myself, “Wow, I was valued” even though I felt that I don’t deserve that because there’s a lot of things that I do not know. I felt like my role and effort was appreciated.  I felt like I was enough no matter how small my role was or how little the help I have given. I am enough. There were a lot (what I mean with a lot is really A LOT) of improvements especially on my part but what was seen by the doctors were our efforts. That’s one of the things that I really like about working here in the UK, being treated professionally and with respect. Value for one another and Respect are two of the core values of our hospital. I’ve realized that the workers and staffs are living up to these values. No pointing of fingers, surely there were a lot to improve but these things were addressed in the right manner in the Team Debrief.

I went on my sleeping break for an hour and still, I was recapturing what happened earlier. I said to the charge nurse, “Rick, I don’t know why but after the cardiac arrest, I was very silent, I don’t know what to say. I still have a lot of things to learn and that I do not know.” He replied, “Yes, there’s still a lot of things that you don’t know, that I don’t know and that they do not know.” He’s trying to tell me that nobody knows everything. (Why is everyone so kind in here?) I plan to speak to my manager to book me a study leave to attend Intermediate Life Support and all other trainings as I see the vitality of these in my line of work. Remember how I’ve learned a lot about communicating with distressed and worried people in the training: Sage and Thyme.

Probably one of the reasons why there’s a lot of thoughts running through my head after is because I was feeling stressed lately at work. There were a lot of highs and lows with my job. We are happy whenever our patients get to be discharged but we also had patients who deteriorated and who passed away and this emergency cardiac arrest. We are not robots, we have our feelings of sadness and loss for the family and we are also affected. That’s how emotional our job is.

Just to end this, I can say that there are times that it’s busy, tiring and stressful but it’s also fulfilling whenever we get to provide the comfort and needs of our patients and whenever we see them happy.

By the way, I searched in YouTube for the demo of cardiac arrest from the Resuscitation Council (UK) for the readers who are not from the health care industry to imagine the scenario. This is how it’s being done. Ideally. 

One more thing, the featured image is from google.

Thanks for reading, as always! =)  Please comment below your thoughts about this post.

Hillsong Church Easter Sunday

Today is the second of April, 2018. How fast the time flies? It’s almost the end of the first quarter of 2018 and I didn’t even notice. The holy week has just ended. As usual for us working in the hospital, we don’t have holidays, I mean the hospital never goes on holiday. It’s open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year for the service of the people who are sick.

It was not known to a lot of people but I’ve been struggling in my life recently. And these struggles made me question life and God as well. I know this struggle is nothing compared to what others are experiencing but for me, this is already something that weakens, breaks and hurt me. This made me question life and God with a lot of why’s. Why do I have to experience this? Why do I need to be in this dilemma? Did I do something wrong? I’ve waited and worked hard for this, but suddenly, why do I have to choose between two options that I really love? I am just fulfilling my dream.

I’m a firm believer of God’s plan, but it doesn’t deny the fact that I am hurting. I was telling myself that I won’t be able to know why these things are happening now but in the future everything will fall into place. But knowing this doesn’t change the fact that presently, it hurts. I was hoping that the pain I’m feeling will be gone soon.

It was my first time to attend the Hillsong church. I told myself, why only now, I’ve been here in London for more than a year already. The venue was in Palladium theatre to accommodate larger audience for Easter Sunday. It was a long queue before we got inside the venue but we didn’t mind. During the service I remembered my SFC (Singles for Christ) days, singing praise and worship songs, praising Him, letting go and letting God. After the praise and worship part, there was a preaching followed by the presentation about the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ. In the presentation, they modernized the setting, but the story and the lessons are the same. It was a stellar performance with complete visual effects, lighting, singing and dancing of great performers. It was beautiful but I wasn’t really affected by the presentation, there was even a time in the play that I fell asleep not because the performance was bad or boring but because of lack of sleep the night before. I don’t know what happened but the following morning after I wake up, it was the first time that I didn’t feel the weight in my heart. I felt very at peace and trustful of the journey that I am right now. After all, love is supposed to be patient and kind. I went to work joyful and happy. I dealt with the patients with smiles and laughter, building rapports and uttering silly jokes (which is unusual of me). I hope this is the start of the moving forward process.

I’ll be fine.

Pinky Promise

Pinky Promise

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According to Wikipedia, pinky promise is the entwining of the pinkies of two people to signify that a promise has been made.

In every phase of our life, we will face a challenge.

This led me to a quote in my head about waiting. And that is, “Anything worth having is truly worthy waiting.” There is a time for everything. I have to wait for the right time to get married. Because it is also me who set the standards that, in the future when I get married, I promise myself that me and my future husband should be together after the wedding. I will be back. I will come home for good, definitely. But I need to wait for the right time. While waiting, I will study, acquire experiences, get myself ready and sufficient for when the times comes that I have to go back to the Philippines to settle for good, I am mentally, emotionally, physically and financially  ready and equipped to use my learnings in London to build a better life in the Philippines. I believe in my heart that there’s a lot of opportunities in my country. I will improve myself, build my confidence through speaking and remove my naivety that I still have even though I am already approaching my 30s. I know I have a lot of potentials, I just have to develop them and push myself to believe in myself.

I also need to remind myself when I’m feeling sad and homesick, “Think of what London and UK can offer you. It can be new and exciting experiences, it can be different insights about life you will acquire after travelling, it can be professional growth and expertise. There are hundreds of reasons to love what I do now and appreciate where I am right now.” Living independently to a different city teaches me to be more responsible knowing that I have the total liberty, enough money, freedom, unlimited and fast internet connection, exposure to good looking men and women, and with all these, it is knowing how to take responsibility for myself, sticking to my values and stopping myself from being tempted to life traps.

What will I do with the opportunity handed to me? I know I should use this to help and inspire others who are also dreaming in the small town, urban area or in their dark room at night. I have told myself, I don’t want to change. Living in a first world city, living a good life, sometimes it is inevitable to want to keep up with the trend and lifestyle. But I want to keep the simplicity in me.

That is my Pinky Promise. Before this, I have only done pinky promises when I was young. But looking back, these were the most honest, most sincere and most innocent promises we can ever give.

Purposeful 2018

Words to live by

Hello 2018! New year is all about setting up new goals for ourselves, may it be financial, travel, relationship or family. But before I dive in to the new year, first I wanna look back on my 2017.

I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be a UKRN and work as a staff nurse in a hospital in London. Being independent and living in a different continent and country is unimaginable. Working in the UK is not just about travels and dream job. It sums up hardwork. If people only know what we have to endure at work. This does not reflect what people see in the posted pictures in Facebook and Instagram. So looking back…

What went well this year?

  1. I passed the examination to be enlisted in the register of qualified nurses in the UK on July 2017. Technically, now I am a registered nurse in the UK.
  2. I was able to adapt (and still learning)  in my new role as a nurse in the respiratory ward where I am permanent staff. I can honestly say that I do not fear or drag myself whenever I go to work unlike the feeling that I usually get for my shifts in the hospital in the Philippines. Which leads me to the next…
  3. I am more confident of myself, of who I am as a person and what I can do and at work in terms of my nursing skills, etc. This is not being complacent, I know I still have a lot of things to learn but in terms of my self worth, I am now certain that I am enough. Less are the times that I doubt myself.
  4. I was able to travel more. I went home to the Philippines on my own on October, traveled  to some parts of the UK (Greenwich, Brighton, Kent, Southampton, Stonehenge, Bath) and my first Euro tour in France on December. Traveling opens up my eyes to a lot of things this world has to offer. Amidst the negativity that we see in the news, this experience amazes me to the extent. I am able to see the true beauty of this world.
  5. The opportunity to love and be loved romantically. Sounds childish but before, I thought that being in a relationship is like a fairy tale. But now I realizes that it is not an altogether happy and loving times with the one you love. This entails patience, hardwork and understanding.
  6. I was able to start investing (not on disposable things), but mainly for my future. I have started paying for the downpayment of the townhouse that I bought. (This is the decision that scares me the most but the bravest one as well. I just took the leap of faith and trusted my instict.) I have an affinity to the thought of having my own house, from buying the furnitures to decorating to moving in, home is one of my excitements in life, one of the things that I look forward to. Having a house of my own is one of my dreams. The goal I am dreaming to achieve by working in the UK. I have also invested in the stock market from a percentage in my salary. I have decided to continue paying for my SSS contribution as an OFW. The premium is a bit expensive for OFWs because there’s no employer who pays the half of the premium unlike when we were still working in the Philippines.  Little by little, I am able to save. This becomes possible by doing bank shifts or ‘OT’ (overtime) at work.

What didn’t go well?

  1. I forgot my passion. For the past year, I dedicated the majority of my time working in the hospital that I set aside my hobbies and leisure activities. These were the activities I did to keep me sane when I had a very toxic work in the Philippines. These are blogging, going to the gym, attending self help workshops, serving in the community and church and reading self help books. Somewhere a long the way, I lost myself. I am not saying that nursing is not my passion. Being a nurse is my bread and butter and I love the work that I do. I think the correct term is, I thought I have lost my purpose. There were days where I don’t get excited to get up from the bed. I have lost the enthusiasm. The ‘me’ who loves to read self help books and Cosmo magazines before to get inspired. After reading, I am left nothing but with a burning desire in my heart.
  2. Since coming in the UK, I have missed a lot of important life events, like Christmas, New Year, birthdays, weddings of my friends, reunions and get together. It made me sad not to be able to share these events with my loved ones. But given this situation, whenever I feel sad, I just remind myself the very reason why I am here. There are things that I cannot control like living away from my loved ones. To be honest, I have lost contact with some of my friends. What I can control is going home whenever it’s possible. Which is exactly what I plan to do. Whenever I have annual leave, I made sure to go home and spend it with the people I love.
  3. My bf and I broke up before Christmas, though we’re still hurting, I am taking this break to reflect, to get to know myself even more and evaluating what I learned in this relationship to help me become a better person.

And lastly, what did I learn about myself?

  1. I learned that I am capable of loving and being loved in return and that everyone deserves this magical thing. I remember the quote of the priest about love in the workshop I have attended before. “Don’t forget to love fully, freely, faithfully and fruitfully.”
  2. Following my heart and trusting my guts and instinct because most of the time they are true. I have learned to trust life and let go of all my worries.
  3. I am keen to listen from other people’s advice because I know I can learn from them. Listening is learning.
  4. I have accepted myself that I am an introvert and not the life of a party. I am more of a listener than a speaker. This is uniquely me, I am enough.

Inspiration from this blog post came after watching Bianca Gonzalez’s vlog with guest, Arriane Serafico of ‘The Purposeful Creative’.

My theme for this year is #Purposeful2018. As me, living each day with a purpose.

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How do I start all over again? Just like blogging, I am starting to live life again on my own terms. By the way, you will see me blogging again more frequently. I thought before that writing is my passion. But I have learned from Francis Kong (through Bianca Gonzales’ vlog) that hard work equates passion. If you are willing to work hard enough for something that you want, then you are passionate about it.

I know I am passionate about my relationship, I did my best but maybe it’s not enough. I am starting to live my life before I met him and rebuilding my future again. I have a lot of things supposedly that I wanna do with him like traveling. He also told me that he has wonderful future plans ahead for both of us.

This was my plan before. (I shouldn’t be looking back but this is the only way I can move forward). I’ll finish my 3-year contract here in London then go home in the Philippines to marry the love of my life. He was my first boyfriend. Before entering into a relationship, I thought everything will be smooth sailing; we will get through this thing called long distance relationship; I will make sure that we are happy and loving with each other all the time. Well, it’s not. Apparently, the expectation is different from reality. It’s an endless effort to try to be the best person for each other. When you know you have bad days when you are negative about life, when you are tired, when you feel unattractive and unloved, you expect that person to carry you through those times, to understand what you’re going through.

Now how do I start to build my future without him in it? Should I still go back in the Philippines or stay in London. I don’t know. And I don’t want to think about that yet. I want to be in the present. To be honest, I just wanna go with the flow right now. I feel so weak to go against the current waves of my life. My mind is so clouded with what-ifs, with what to do, etc. Of how can I get over this. Just like before, I found solace in writing. I might probably pour all my heart and emotions through writing again.

My message to self:

You’ve said this before if it’s meant to be, it will happen. Everything happens for a reason. You cannot control things. And what’s admirable about you is that you did your best. Remembering the fourth agreement in the book of  Don Miguel Ruiz ‘The Four Agreements’, he said ‘Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.’ I can honestly say, I did my best. I have no regrets in all this. I am thankful to him for loving me and he is grateful to me for that as well.

It’s scary to be authentic about my emotions and situation. This is me showing vulnerability. But knowing that breakup is normal and everyone goes through this phase in life makes it easier for me to open up.

P.S. I took the photo from above in our house in Nueva Ecija. The quote that I remember from Star Wars: The Last Jedi sums up this photo and the feeling that I have now.

“Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you’ll never make it through the night.”

 

My Go-To-Place: Fairfield Road

I still can’t believe everything that is happening to me now. Whenever I see London road signages, I keep asking myself “Is this really happening? Am I really in London?” It’s been more than 6 months when I arrived here to work and up until now, I feel like I’m still on cloud 9. It seems like I’m still dreaming.

I love walking in the streets of Kingston Upon Thames especially during this Springtime because of the green surroundings. Nature is in full bloom. This is my first time to witness four seasons and realized that each season offers something new and different. They all teach me lessons about life. Kingston library is located on Fairfield road. This road is my haven, my favorite place in town because of the establishments that are within the area such as the Kingfisher Leisure Centre (gym, swimming pool, children’s playground), Fairfield Recreational Ground (where anyone can play football, jog, have a picnic, train and play with your dogs and pets. Within the next two days, a circus will be held in this area. Oh, how excited I am! This is an authentic circus show. The one I only watched on TV when I was young. I imagine for the show to have lions, acrobats, performers crossing a rope, unicycle, etc. There’s also the Kingston Museum, when I visited it before, I’ve learned the history and seen the images of Kingston before the civilization, the paintings of the establishments and the clothing at that time. And of course, the reason why I am in Fairfield Road, the Kingston Libary. I went there to study for my exam because if I did it in my room, I will be tempted to sleep. When I sat in the chair inside the library with all other students and young professionals quietly studying, I can’t help but smile and reflect at that moment. I just feel so grateful that I was given this opportunity to work and live in London. Everything that I imagined doing and learning are in here. They have a lot of things to offer. I found classes on creative writing, digital photography, flower arrangement, European language, cooking, baking, gardening etc. They have this library where I can study, borrow books that range from English novels, fiction and nonfiction, biography, health, arts, cooking, history, IT, gardening. As I was tempted to check these books, I stopped and reminded myself what I was there for, which is to study for my exam. Then I smiled because I am grateful for all these. These are what makes me happy and interested in life. (Plus I have a loving boyfriend back home). That I want to learn more. I want to grow. I want to acquire skills. I want to improve because I believe that there’s a lot more I can offer. 

On the way to Kingston Library

My wide imagination was working. I could imagine anything while smiling. But I ditched that thinking because for now, my focus is on my examination and in passing it. Working and living abroad is definitely not easy, there are challenges but with all these, I am grateful.

This Year’s Holy Week

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This year’s celebration of Holy Week has only been the same as with the previous years. Nothing’s really special happened. Due to my crazy work schedule, I have no time to go home in Nueva Ecija or do an out of town travel alone, with friends or family and take a time off to reflect on being a Catholic. I only went to work (which I surprisingly enjoy lately), reviewed for my upcoming CBT nursing exam during free time and did the things I love like reading and writing.

Holy week is an important reminder for us Catholics to strengthen our faith. As this time of the year, we remember how Jesus was crucified and died on the cross to save us from all our sins. I may not be able to do Visita Iglesia just like other Filipinos, but I very well know in my heart that I believe in Jesus and to God. I understand that there are other people who don’t believe in a Higher Being. Regardless of religion, let us find something to believe in. I choose to believe and have faith. Because believing gives me HOPE. That I am where I am right now because of a purpose. That I was given this life to live because He has a plan for my life. And that gives me a different perspective of everything that I have gone through.

Two weeks ago, when I had to leave the church at the middle of the mass to go to work. This whole month of March has been a very busy one for me. With everything that I was dedicating my time on, I felt I neglected my time with Him. And so when I left at the middle of the mass to go to work, deep in my heart, I felt I needed more time with Him, to talk to Him, to tell Him how crazy things have been happening lately and just thank Him for all the great things coming.

This Easter Sunday is the time when Jesus has arisen. He died and became alive again. There might have been times in the past that we felt shattered for different reasons, but we should never give up. In my everyday randomness, I decide to believe that there’s a Higher Being who only has great things in store for His people. And that for me is what Holy Week means, keeping up with the FAITH.

My takeaway from the movie “Always Be My Maybe”

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During the first week of the released date of the movie ‘Always be my maybe’, I was able to watch it with my very good friend Coleen in Robinson’s Magnolia.

The story is about the relationship problems of twenty-something people. I think that single people in this age group can definitely relate to the story. For those who had broken up with their girlfriend or boyfriend, if you’re a guy or a girl who fell for someone and was left hanging, for people seeking for love and are hoping to find The One, this movie is for all of us. We can get a glimpse of what’s going on in a guy’s mind when he hangs out with a girl and a girl’s perspective about being treated special by a guy.

Why is this movie a hit? Because it is so real. I, personally, can relate to it. Not really in every scene but in being down at some point in my life and in being hurt. Relationship issue is always a very interesting topic because the development task for young adult is intimacy vs. social isolation. This adult task is about engaging into meaningful relationships with the opposite sex, finding a life partner, getting married and starting a family. Young adults want a movie that they can identify with.

During the night, after watching the movie, I silently reflected in my life and remembered my experiences in the past. I get to understand that sometimes in life, we hurt people unknowingly and unintentionally. I do not want lose the capacity to trust and to hope that one day, The One and I will be at the same place at the same time and our love story will begin. Just like the lead characters in this movie.

Sydney and the Small Stories

This post was really intended to be done two years ago after my trip to Australia. But because of procrastination, it took me two years after to post. Nevertheless, what is important is I am doing it now. The purpose of posting my travels and all the beautiful things that happened in my life is because I want to look back on those experiences in the future. When I am already 40 years old, I want to visit this blog and cherish what I did on my 20s. Indeed, it weren’t all joy. There were pain, struggles, challenges,  heartbreaks and tears. In a novel, a good story has all of these element to ignite the enthusiasm of the reader. My life is a book. I am the protagonist and everyone around me is part of my story. Okay, so much for the random thoughts. Sharing you now my pictures for me and my classmate’s epic trip to Sydney, Australia.

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The three rock formation as the three sisters.

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This is one of the scariest ride that I’ve tried in my life. This train goes up inside the dark mountain in a 55-degree angle. Me and my classmates really enjoyed this ride a lot because we didn’t expect that the train will go up in that angle. In the history of this ride, the train was really intended for coal mining, but since people wanted and enjoyed the train running inside the rocky interior of the mountain, it became a tourist attraction and the owners decided to stop coal mining and just made it a train ride. It is a must try!

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Here, we are exploring the Blue Mountains. It is called the Blue Mountains because the mountains are covered by the eucalyptus trees which are the primary food of the Koala bears. When the sun touches the eucalyptus trees, collectively, they became color blue or looked like color blue. Hence, the Blue Mountains. I was able to touch a eucalyptus tree and it smelled like a menthol candy. Our tour guide, his name’s Ken, was very informative. I think he’s been doing that job for more than 20 years already. He knows every story and details of the places we’ve visited. I admired him because I can sense that he takes pride in his job. He is happy being a tour guide.

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Here, I was outside the Katoomba coal mine.

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Enjoying the farm animals in Featherdale Wildlife Park. I was with my classmates, the sisters, Ruth and Diane and with a cute Australian child who was also touring with her parents. In the the Featherdale Wildlife Park, I had seen a lot of animals like Kangaroos, snakes, Koala bears, penguins, crocodiles, goats, cows, etc. I love going to zoos and interacting with animals that I don’t usually see everyday.

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Trekking and being one with nature. Sunlight, trees, grass, rock formation, soil, oh I loved it!

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So let’s move to the city, the famous landmarks of Sydney, the Sydney Harbour bridge and the Opera House.

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Me and my classmate, Mel, was able to walk around the opera house. It was such a unique architectural piece, really one of a kind. Beside it is The Royal Botanical Garden, a huge park where one can relax and spend the day feeling surreal.

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The Sydney Opera House is located in the Circular Quay train station. From there, Mel and I, decided to go to Manly beach riding a ferry. It took the ferry ride 30 minutes to arrive in our destination. That 30-minute ride was an awe for me. I was able to see the beauty of Sydney, the opera house, the bridge, the ocean, and the beach front.

 

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Mel and I, enjoying the beach.

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Basically, these are just some of the moments we had in Sydney. There was a lot but I can no longer put them into words. They are left in my heart and will just forever be cherished. How can one not miss this experience? This trip has changed my life forever. Several months after coming home, I quit my former job and pursued my profession now. Solely because I was able to reflect on this trip. I wondered why I lost my passion and why I gave up on my childhood dreams. With this experience, I stood up, tried again and is now pursuing my childhood dreams. I realized that what we dreamt of when we were a child is the same as our adult dreams. We really didn’t change.

This is such a heartfelt post. I am really an emotional person. Let’s all dream and pursue our heart’s desire. 🙂

Beauty in Vulnerability

06/26/2015

Dear “Future The One”,

I have a lot of things to tell you. So while I still haven’t met you, I will write, and will just show this letter to you in the future.

You know what, I can’t sleep. Headache. Tears are on my eyes. I don’t have problems right now. Why tears? I just keep on wondering when will I see you, when will you enter my everyday, when will you be part of my life?

I won’t give up in believing that one of these days, soon, you will arrive. And the longingness, excitement, all the tears that has fallen through the years of waiting will be all worth it.

I want to tell you my everyday experiences, how adrenaline has taken over my entire self whenever there are emergencies happening in the workplace. I want to tell you the realizations I have everyday, from the simplest things like being grateful for waking up every morning to being appreciated at work. I want to tell my fears and worries, if there’s any. And above all, I want to tell you my dreams, my plans, my goals, the things that I’d like to learn like applying make up on myself and braiding my own hair. I want to tell you of my plans of working abroad, of the preparation for it, of the exams I have to take, of the nervousness and anxiety that I feel as that exam is nearing. I want to tell you all the failures I had in the past. Failures they maybe, but I also call them as redirection. I want to tell you of the amazing speech and life lessons I learned from Steve Jobs in the Stanford graduation ceremony. Basically, I have a lot of stories to tell. But just to be clear, I’m not talkative. I just have a lot of stories to tell. So please, hurry up! Find me! Talk to me! Don’t give up on us.

I’ll wait for you patiently.

Your “Future The One”,
Berna

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This is probably the most vulnerable thing that I will share. I learned through an inspirational speaker Brene Brown that there is beauty in vulnerability. It’s about being real of your feelings and not thinking of what others will say. The letter above was from one of the random thoughts I had sometime in June.

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Here are the lessons Brene Brown has shared in one of her speeches.

According to Brene Brown:

Connected people believe that what makes them vulnerable makes the beautiful. Connected people are willing to say “I love you” first and take relational risks. They are willing to get hurt. This is fundamental to a connected person.

Questions to ask ourselves:

*Am I willing to be vulnerable eventhough there is no guarantee?
*Am I willing to love with my whole heart?
*Can I practice gratitude and joy in the face of rejection? In the face of risk?
*Am I communicating to others that they are enough, even as they are?
*Do I believe I am enough? Do I believe I am worthy of love?
*Do I understand that my beliefs I am worthy of love directly connects with my ability to connect with and love others.
*Are you afraid to be vulnerable?
*Do you believe you are a safe person people can be vulnerable with?

In order for connection to happen, we must allow ourselves to be seen. We must overcome our shame. A sense of worthiness is connected to a sense of love and belonging. People who have strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging. What keeps us out of connection is the feeling we are not worthy of connection. People who are living out of a sense of worthiness are whole hearted.

Being whole hearted means:
1. Having courage. Courage means to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Whole hearted means we have the courage to be imperfect.

2. They have compassion for themselves, and therefore have compassion for others.

3. They have connection. As a result of accepting themselves and having courage to project who they really are, along with having compassion for themselves and others, they were able to be authentic, and therefore connect with others. They are willing to let go of the idea of who they should be in order to accept who they are.

P.S. Can we all be brave enough to be vulnerable?