Snapshots of My UK RN Journey

Hello guys! I apologize for being absent in the blogging world for several months. I have a love affair with blogging. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I just don’t feel like doing it. I went for hiatus in blogging to concentrate on a new chapter in my life. I had shared in the previous posts that I had moved to London, England on 2016 to work as a nurse. It’s been more than a year now. Looking back, I never thought that I will be at this point in my life. Remember the quarter life crisis I experienced on my early 20s, the career shifts, etc.

These were my fears before I moved to the UK. Can I make it living on my own? Can I start a new life in a different continent, in a different country, a place that is very far from where I came from. It’s been more than a year now. And in that 1 year, I’ve learned to take a risk in life and love. I tried to face my fear of doing something I’d never thought I can do. I had learned to trust life, to trust in the Higher Being. I believe that there is a reason for everything. That things will happen if it’s meant to happen. I don’t question life anymore because at the end of the day, something good will rise from all the negative things.  Hope is moving forward even if it’s hard because you want to get pass that stage of your life. If you are not yet contented in to where you are right now, if you think you deserve more, then you are right. If you are not yet happy, then strive to achieve whatever it is that will make you happy. Whether it’s in your job, relationships, family, health, etc.

I went on break in blogging because I concentrated on settling in my new life and career here in London. I reviewed for the exam, (while working) for me to become a registered nurse in the UK and thankfully passed the examination on July 2017. For the readers who are thinking that it was an ‘easy-everything-1-year’ since I arrived here, it was definitely not. There were probably more failures in this road to UK compared to everything that I had ventured ever in my life. The majority of the steps in applying as a nurse in the UK, I had failures. But why didn’t I give up? According to Sonia Ricotti, never give up because just when you are to give up is when things are about to turn around in a grand way. I hold on because I know that great things are waiting for me around the corner. This is the e-mail that I had been waiting for on July 2017. Finally, I passed my exam after two failed attempts!

The whole process was very hard and tedious and it took me 1 year and 9 months to get my PIN. That is from taking my IELTS on October 2015 until I passed the Part 2 – Test of Competency on July 2017. To be honest, I cried when I received the result on my e-mail. This is the destination of all the hardships that I had to go through when I was still working as a nurse in the Philippines. This is the destination, but the journey is still the sweetest. So after receiving this e-mail, I immediately informed my ward manager Katherine, the Practice Development Nurses Siobhan and Richard, my closest friends here in the UK, my siblings, Ryan, and made a long distance call to my parents in Nueva Ecija, Philippines. My mother was very happy and said that she had always been praying for me, I know my father did the same.

Before I passed the exam, I worked as Band 3 – ONP and was wearing this white uniform.

After receiving the e-mail, I excitedly arranged my Nursing and Midwifery Council (NMC) registration and received my PIN after 48 hours. Afterwards, me and my friend Fe, who also passed the exam, went to the sewing room of the hospital to fit our new band 5 uniforms. I chose two dresses and 1 tunic with trousers. I’ve always wanted to wear dress with black stockings and black shoes on duty. And when I got the uniform, my new ID and new name plate,  I lay them all on my bed and I even took a photo of them. Here it is… 

This is me wearing my new uniform happily. Simple joy… Pinaghirapan ko kasi talaga ito! (I really worked hard for this!)
 *** P.S. I had written this a long time ago and it stayed on my draft folder for 7 months. I want to publish this to remind myself of my UK journey and the happiness I felt when I became a registered nurse in the UK. I know being a nurse in the UK is just a phase in my life, that I should enjoy every moment of it even if the work is hard and be grateful for the opportunity that was given to me. With this experience, I am learning a lot not only as nurse but also as a person. I have grown and realised on my own what really matters in life and it’s not money, travel or career. Despite the fact that I’m living in a first world country, I am still a simple person, my ultimate dream remains the same which is to have my own family, be a wife and mother. I will use this as a motivation to my work to give quality care to my patients and share the lessons that I learned here in my blog to anyone who might stumble on my life stories. To you reading this, do not give up even if you had failures, if you really want to achieve your dreams, keep on trying.
Go and reach for your dreams! 

Sage & Thyme: Listening and Responding to People Who are Worried

Have you ever encountered seeing or talking to a person who are worried? Surely, we are familiar with the phrase, “Don’t worry. Everything’s gonna be fine.” But is this really the appropriate thing to say? I want to share what I learned in Sage & Thyme Foundation Level Workshop: Listening and responding to people who are worried and distressed.

I voluntarily attended this workshop because I can see the strong need for me, as a health care professional to develop my communication skills as I am dealing with distressed patients and family members all the time. As a nurse working in a respiratory ward for more than a year, I have dealt with this situation multiple times and it’s hard to think of the right thing to say to address the concerns. With our busy day in the ward, giving medications, positioning our patients, doing the nursing care, etc., how can we actually provide therapeutic communications to our patients?

There is a flyer I saw in our ward’s staff room regarding this workshop. I told myself, “I want to attend.” I approached one of the Palliative Care Nurses visiting our ward, told her I am interested in attending the workshop however I cannot find the email address of the secretary to book my place. She then took my NHS email address and said she will leave the note on the secretary’s desk. And after 2 hours, I received an email from Paula and informed me that there is 1 slot left for the semuinar. Hmm.. I told myself this must have been for me. So I replied that I would be pleased to attend the seminar.

The entire seminar was facilitated by Sally Parr, a consultant for Cancer Support. She was very good in explaining why communication skills matter because it influences patient’s emotional health, symptom resolution function and physiological measures and decreased reported pain and drug usage.

So why Sage and Thyme? I was also curious. In the seminar I found out that Sage and Thyme is an acronym for the model which stands for…

S- Setting : If you notice concern- create some privacy- sit down

A- Ask : “Can I ask what you are concerned about?”

G- Gather: Gather all concerns – not just the first few

E- Empathy: Respond sensitively- “You have a lot on your mind”

&

T- Talk: “Who do you have to talk to or to support you?”

H- Help: “How do they help?”

Y- You: “What do YOU think would help?”

M- Me: “Is there something you would like ME to do?”

E- End: Summarise and close – “Can we leave it there?”

According to Thora, a Palliative Care Nurse, who facilitates the discussion in our group, this model is evidence based and it has been proven effective with clinical research. Depending on the situation, it doesn’t mean that we have to use the whole model all the time. She said we may skip some, but the core thing is to empower the person who is distressed by allowing him to decide what he thinks should be the best decision. We should always seek the patient’s own solutions. This means that we empower and equip individual to recognise and manage their psychological distress. It is more about You (pertaining to the other person) and not Me (meaning myself). She also said that somehow, this lifts the burden in us, health care professionals, that we cannot always and all the time solve our patient’s problems, pain and struggles. We are not a superhero to solve these things and we can only do so much. One more thing that I really like about this model is the fact that whenever we are talking to a distressed individual, it is not always about giving advice. Sometimes, what they need is someone who empathises with them, understands them and listens to them without any judgement. The most important thing is holding back with advice and only make supportive comments. Listening to them means not having to fix or give advice to the other person because this is disempowering.

Saying “Don’t worry. Everything will be alright” is not therapeutic because the truth is, the other person is worried, saying this means you are shutting down the individual.

It happens to me, when I was thinking about my future plans, and that person I talked to gave an advice and negative comments on the situations, and I realized it’s not helping because me and that person have different views and opinions about what really matters in life. I was thinking, I just want to express my thoughts about the situation, I do not need an advice I just want someone to listen. So, I just shrug the negative comments off and ended our conversation.

In my everyday work in the ward, I cannot always run the whole model if a relative or patient has to speak to me because the ward that I permanently work is really busy, but what I will do is to apply the core of the model.

I realized this is not only applicable to my work as a health care professional in the hospital but this is extremely helpful as well when talking to a friend, a colleague, a family member who has a problem or to myself.

I believe in this model that’s why I am sharing it in my blog. To know more about Sage and Thyme, you may visit www.sageandthymetraining.org.uk

Pinky Promise

Pinky Promise

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According to Wikipedia, pinky promise is the entwining of the pinkies of two people to signify that a promise has been made.

In every phase of our life, we will face a challenge.

This led me to a quote in my head about waiting. And that is, “Anything worth having is truly worthy waiting.” There is a time for everything. I have to wait for the right time to get married. Because it is also me who set the standards that, in the future when I get married, I promise myself that me and my future husband should be together after the wedding. I will be back. I will come home for good, definitely. But I need to wait for the right time. While waiting, I will study, acquire experiences, get myself ready and sufficient for when the times comes that I have to go back to the Philippines to settle for good, I am mentally, emotionally, physically and financially  ready and equipped to use my learnings in London to build a better life in the Philippines. I believe in my heart that there’s a lot of opportunities in my country. I will improve myself, build my confidence through speaking and remove my naivety that I still have even though I am already approaching my 30s. I know I have a lot of potentials, I just have to develop them and push myself to believe in myself.

I also need to remind myself when I’m feeling sad and homesick, “Think of what London and UK can offer you. It can be new and exciting experiences, it can be different insights about life you will acquire after travelling, it can be professional growth and expertise. There are hundreds of reasons to love what I do now and appreciate where I am right now.” Living independently to a different city teaches me to be more responsible knowing that I have the total liberty, enough money, freedom, unlimited and fast internet connection, exposure to good looking men and women, and with all these, it is knowing how to take responsibility for myself, sticking to my values and stopping myself from being tempted to life traps.

What will I do with the opportunity handed to me? I know I should use this to help and inspire others who are also dreaming in the small town, urban area or in their dark room at night. I have told myself, I don’t want to change. Living in a first world city, living a good life, sometimes it is inevitable to want to keep up with the trend and lifestyle. But I want to keep the simplicity in me.

That is my Pinky Promise. Before this, I have only done pinky promises when I was young. But looking back, these were the most honest, most sincere and most innocent promises we can ever give.

Watching “Zippos Circus”

After coming back from a vacation in the Philippines, I have told myself to be dedicated again to blogging because as an introvert, expressing myself through writing gives me so much joy. There are 3 things I bought in the store today to jumpstart blogging and they are: AA battery, extension cord, and light bulb. Yes, these are the 3 stuff that completed this going-back-to-blogging plan. I needed a AA battery to be used for my wireless mouse so that I can navigate the pointer easily. The light bulb is for the lamp that I requested from our exchange gift last Christmas. I needed a bedside lamp because if I am only using the ceiling light from my room, what happens is that whenever I study or write, I would always get sleepy because it is so dim. With the bedside lamp, it creates additional brightness making the environment conducive to writing. The extension cord is to be used to plug my bedside lamp. So, that’s it. Because of these 3 things, I am now back to blogging.

This is a very late post as this happened in June 2017. My first-time experience watching a circus has always been a topic I’d really want to share here on my blog.

When I was young, I used to watched cartoons on TV every morning on ABS-CBN channel 2. It was the time when I was still young and only need to attend the school in the afternoon so I usually watched TV in the morning. I stayed in our home in the province with my mother (my father was working abroad) and 2 younger brothers while 3 of my older siblings went to school. I remember watching the cartoons “The Dog of Flanders” and “Remi”. I can’t remember which one was it but one or few episodes was about a circus. That image still I can remember. From then on, I knew I wanted to see a real circus. So when I saw a flyer about Zippos Circus coming to Kingston Upon Thames for series of shows,  I asked my friend if she wanted to see the circus with me. She didn’t think twice and happily came with me.

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When we arrived, we saw a big tent that was set up in the Fairfield Recreational Park, my favourite part of town. There were a lot of trucks because that’s what the Zippos Circus do, they travel to different towns across the UK to perform. They stay in a specific place for a week and after the show, they move to another town. I thought this circus is exactly what I watched in the cartoons when I was young.

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Happy Vibe!

When we arrived, the circus was already starting. And the moment we stepped inside the tent, I’ve already felt the happy vibe and the feeling of being child and young at heart. Well, I’m still young but what I am saying is the feeling of being a 5-year-old watching and being amazed at acrobats, stunts, etc.

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We saw a popcorn and cotton candy stand. My friend and I looked at each other and laughed. We knew right away that we wanted to buy these kiddie snacks. So we bought 1 popcorn and  1 cotton candy and we shared. When we were taking pictures of our cotton candy, the circus host popped in to join. Haha. He also performed with birds doing tricks like basketball. Looking at him, it’s evident that he had been in a circus for most of his life.

Then we sat on our allotted seat, we were escorted inside by the member of the security. The show was very organized from the time we bought our ticket until the end of the show and when going out of the venue. A circus is indeed a happy place. I was there at the venue with a big smile on my face, being entertained and feeling the joy of a child. As what the circus host said after the show, “You are never too old to enjoy a circus.”

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This is one of the activities here in the UK that gave real joy in my life and a big smile on my face, a must watch show and a must have experience.

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A Conversation With An Uber Driver

Uber

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I arrived back on UK on February 16 from a 1 month holiday in the Philippines. This vacation was very productive. I was able to spend most of the time with my family, my father had an elective surgery and stayed with him during the confinement, met my high school friend, went for a trip to Iloilo, and most especially, Ryan and I were able to talk and we got back together on Valentine’s day. I realized that no matter what our differences are and the challenges our relationship are facing, I am willing to fight for our relationship because I love him.It was a total of 16-hour flight duration with Cathay Pacific from Manila to Hong Kong followed by a connecting flight from Hong Kong to London. It was very smooth from take off to landing and as much as I can remember, there was no turbulence throughout the whole flight. I arrived in London Healthrow airport at around 15.00 of February 16 and waited for more than an hour in the immigration because of the long queue. After getting my luggage, I booked for an uber to take me home to my flat in Kingston.

I had a very interesting conversation with the Uber driver during the whole trip. His name is Gershom from the country, Uganda. I learned from him that Uganda was a former British colony. He came in the country 16 years ago to work to support his family in Uganda. He is already on his 50s. He shared with me the hardships that he had to face and endure when he first set foot in the UK. He said there is no reason for him to bring his children to UK because he doesn’t want them to experience the hardships that he had gone through in the past. He was just working and working and couldn’t go home to Uganda because of the immigration policy to remain in the country so that he can continue to provide the needs of his family. By the grace of God, his two daughters had already finished college and are now working. He is planning to go back to Uganda this year to be with his family and settle in his home country for good. He said that everything is not about the money. His advice to me is not to lose my culture with the culture in the country where I am right now. He said that if you lose your culture, you are dead. You don’t have soul anymore. It was like, he is pertaining about the good values that is innate with us. Sometimes, what happens is that when we start to earn more, even if we are in denial, we also change and we may think highly of ourselves. This is a reminder to stay humble.

He also gave me wonderful advice about relationships. He said that being in a relationship will never become easy. Definitely, there will be trying times, multiple throughout our whole lifetime. If you are able to surpass one trial, then you’ve succeeded, but expect that you will encounter few more challenges in the future. That is one of the realities of life. He also told me not to give up if I experience problems in the relationship. Being in a long distance relationship is already a challenge. He said that I should be willing to fight for it if I really love the person. He gave me tips on how to make the other person feel loved even though we are far from each other such as calling just to say good morning and good night and no need for a long conversation, just make the person feel that you think of him. At the end of the trip, I shook his hand and thanked him for all the life lessons that he had shared with me. It can be that life is telling me something because Gershom is the 4th uber driver that appeared and I do not know why the first three bookings were dropped.

I had been constantly praying to give me wisdom with every decision that I will be making. Oftentimes, I do not know what decision to make because of too much noise from my head, my heart and from the people around me. What I have been constantly praying and asking is to hear His voice for me to be directed in the right path.

 

Purposeful 2018

Words to live by

Hello 2018! New year is all about setting up new goals for ourselves, may it be financial, travel, relationship or family. But before I dive in to the new year, first I wanna look back on my 2017.

I am forever grateful for the opportunity to be a UKRN and work as a staff nurse in a hospital in London. Being independent and living in a different continent and country is unimaginable. Working in the UK is not just about travels and dream job. It sums up hardwork. If people only know what we have to endure at work. This does not reflect what people see in the posted pictures in Facebook and Instagram. So looking back…

What went well this year?

  1. I passed the examination to be enlisted in the register of qualified nurses in the UK on July 2017. Technically, now I am a registered nurse in the UK.
  2. I was able to adapt (and still learning)  in my new role as a nurse in the respiratory ward where I am permanent staff. I can honestly say that I do not fear or drag myself whenever I go to work unlike the feeling that I usually get for my shifts in the hospital in the Philippines. Which leads me to the next…
  3. I am more confident of myself, of who I am as a person and what I can do and at work in terms of my nursing skills, etc. This is not being complacent, I know I still have a lot of things to learn but in terms of my self worth, I am now certain that I am enough. Less are the times that I doubt myself.
  4. I was able to travel more. I went home to the Philippines on my own on October, traveled  to some parts of the UK (Greenwich, Brighton, Kent, Southampton, Stonehenge, Bath) and my first Euro tour in France on December. Traveling opens up my eyes to a lot of things this world has to offer. Amidst the negativity that we see in the news, this experience amazes me to the extent. I am able to see the true beauty of this world.
  5. The opportunity to love and be loved romantically. Sounds childish but before, I thought that being in a relationship is like a fairy tale. But now I realizes that it is not an altogether happy and loving times with the one you love. This entails patience, hardwork and understanding.
  6. I was able to start investing (not on disposable things), but mainly for my future. I have started paying for the downpayment of the townhouse that I bought. (This is the decision that scares me the most but the bravest one as well. I just took the leap of faith and trusted my instict.) I have an affinity to the thought of having my own house, from buying the furnitures to decorating to moving in, home is one of my excitements in life, one of the things that I look forward to. Having a house of my own is one of my dreams. The goal I am dreaming to achieve by working in the UK. I have also invested in the stock market from a percentage in my salary. I have decided to continue paying for my SSS contribution as an OFW. The premium is a bit expensive for OFWs because there’s no employer who pays the half of the premium unlike when we were still working in the Philippines.  Little by little, I am able to save. This becomes possible by doing bank shifts or ‘OT’ (overtime) at work.

What didn’t go well?

  1. I forgot my passion. For the past year, I dedicated the majority of my time working in the hospital that I set aside my hobbies and leisure activities. These were the activities I did to keep me sane when I had a very toxic work in the Philippines. These are blogging, going to the gym, attending self help workshops, serving in the community and church and reading self help books. Somewhere a long the way, I lost myself. I am not saying that nursing is not my passion. Being a nurse is my bread and butter and I love the work that I do. I think the correct term is, I thought I have lost my purpose. There were days where I don’t get excited to get up from the bed. I have lost the enthusiasm. The ‘me’ who loves to read self help books and Cosmo magazines before to get inspired. After reading, I am left nothing but with a burning desire in my heart.
  2. Since coming in the UK, I have missed a lot of important life events, like Christmas, New Year, birthdays, weddings of my friends, reunions and get together. It made me sad not to be able to share these events with my loved ones. But given this situation, whenever I feel sad, I just remind myself the very reason why I am here. There are things that I cannot control like living away from my loved ones. To be honest, I have lost contact with some of my friends. What I can control is going home whenever it’s possible. Which is exactly what I plan to do. Whenever I have annual leave, I made sure to go home and spend it with the people I love.
  3. My bf and I broke up before Christmas, though we’re still hurting, I am taking this break to reflect, to get to know myself even more and evaluating what I learned in this relationship to help me become a better person.

And lastly, what did I learn about myself?

  1. I learned that I am capable of loving and being loved in return and that everyone deserves this magical thing. I remember the quote of the priest about love in the workshop I have attended before. “Don’t forget to love fully, freely, faithfully and fruitfully.”
  2. Following my heart and trusting my guts and instinct because most of the time they are true. I have learned to trust life and let go of all my worries.
  3. I am keen to listen from other people’s advice because I know I can learn from them. Listening is learning.
  4. I have accepted myself that I am an introvert and not the life of a party. I am more of a listener than a speaker. This is uniquely me, I am enough.

Inspiration from this blog post came after watching Bianca Gonzalez’s vlog with guest, Arriane Serafico of ‘The Purposeful Creative’.

My theme for this year is #Purposeful2018. As me, living each day with a purpose.

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How do I start all over again? Just like blogging, I am starting to live life again on my own terms. By the way, you will see me blogging again more frequently. I thought before that writing is my passion. But I have learned from Francis Kong (through Bianca Gonzales’ vlog) that hard work equates passion. If you are willing to work hard enough for something that you want, then you are passionate about it.

I know I am passionate about my relationship, I did my best but maybe it’s not enough. I am starting to live my life before I met him and rebuilding my future again. I have a lot of things supposedly that I wanna do with him like traveling. He also told me that he has wonderful future plans ahead for both of us.

This was my plan before. (I shouldn’t be looking back but this is the only way I can move forward). I’ll finish my 3-year contract here in London then go home in the Philippines to marry the love of my life. He was my first boyfriend. Before entering into a relationship, I thought everything will be smooth sailing; we will get through this thing called long distance relationship; I will make sure that we are happy and loving with each other all the time. Well, it’s not. Apparently, the expectation is different from reality. It’s an endless effort to try to be the best person for each other. When you know you have bad days when you are negative about life, when you are tired, when you feel unattractive and unloved, you expect that person to carry you through those times, to understand what you’re going through.

Now how do I start to build my future without him in it? Should I still go back in the Philippines or stay in London. I don’t know. And I don’t want to think about that yet. I want to be in the present. To be honest, I just wanna go with the flow right now. I feel so weak to go against the current waves of my life. My mind is so clouded with what-ifs, with what to do, etc. Of how can I get over this. Just like before, I found solace in writing. I might probably pour all my heart and emotions through writing again.

My message to self:

You’ve said this before if it’s meant to be, it will happen. Everything happens for a reason. You cannot control things. And what’s admirable about you is that you did your best. Remembering the fourth agreement in the book of  Don Miguel Ruiz ‘The Four Agreements’, he said ‘Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.’ I can honestly say, I did my best. I have no regrets in all this. I am thankful to him for loving me and he is grateful to me for that as well.

It’s scary to be authentic about my emotions and situation. This is me showing vulnerability. But knowing that breakup is normal and everyone goes through this phase in life makes it easier for me to open up.

P.S. I took the photo from above in our house in Nueva Ecija. The quote that I remember from Star Wars: The Last Jedi sums up this photo and the feeling that I have now.

“Hope is like the sun. If you only believe it when you see it you’ll never make it through the night.”

 

My Go-To-Place: Fairfield Road

I still can’t believe everything that is happening to me now. Whenever I see London road signages, I keep asking myself “Is this really happening? Am I really in London?” It’s been more than 6 months when I arrived here to work and up until now, I feel like I’m still on cloud 9. It seems like I’m still dreaming.

I love walking in the streets of Kingston Upon Thames especially during this Springtime because of the green surroundings. Nature is in full bloom. This is my first time to witness four seasons and realized that each season offers something new and different. They all teach me lessons about life. Kingston library is located on Fairfield road. This road is my haven, my favorite place in town because of the establishments that are within the area such as the Kingfisher Leisure Centre (gym, swimming pool, children’s playground), Fairfield Recreational Ground (where anyone can play football, jog, have a picnic, train and play with your dogs and pets. Within the next two days, a circus will be held in this area. Oh, how excited I am! This is an authentic circus show. The one I only watched on TV when I was young. I imagine for the show to have lions, acrobats, performers crossing a rope, unicycle, etc. There’s also the Kingston Museum, when I visited it before, I’ve learned the history and seen the images of Kingston before the civilization, the paintings of the establishments and the clothing at that time. And of course, the reason why I am in Fairfield Road, the Kingston Libary. I went there to study for my exam because if I did it in my room, I will be tempted to sleep. When I sat in the chair inside the library with all other students and young professionals quietly studying, I can’t help but smile and reflect at that moment. I just feel so grateful that I was given this opportunity to work and live in London. Everything that I imagined doing and learning are in here. They have a lot of things to offer. I found classes on creative writing, digital photography, flower arrangement, European language, cooking, baking, gardening etc. They have this library where I can study, borrow books that range from English novels, fiction and nonfiction, biography, health, arts, cooking, history, IT, gardening. As I was tempted to check these books, I stopped and reminded myself what I was there for, which is to study for my exam. Then I smiled because I am grateful for all these. These are what makes me happy and interested in life. (Plus I have a loving boyfriend back home). That I want to learn more. I want to grow. I want to acquire skills. I want to improve because I believe that there’s a lot more I can offer. 

On the way to Kingston Library

My wide imagination was working. I could imagine anything while smiling. But I ditched that thinking because for now, my focus is on my examination and in passing it. Working and living abroad is definitely not easy, there are challenges but with all these, I am grateful.

“Dear Zindagi” Movie Message

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I just finished watching the Indian film, “Dear Zindagi” (Dear Life). And again, i was captivated by the profound message. This is another favorite of mine aside from The 3 Idiots. The movie is about the story of a young cinematographer Kaira and her realization of letting go of the past hurts to finding real happiness. At the beginning of the story, Kaira is seen as a difficult person to deal with and a happy-go-lucky lady who’s having a hard time committing to men. As such, it is evident that deep inside her was a broken woman who’s in denial that there is something wrong with her emotions until she met the Psychologist, “Brain doctor”, Jug. 

In the sessions with Jug, Kaira realized she had to be honest with herself regarding the hurt that she had kept eversince she was young. The turning point is this message of Jug to Kaira, “Do not let the past blackmail your present to ruin a beautiful future.” And for the first time in her life, she felt free. She let go of the baggage and mend the relationship with her parents. 

Another point given in the story is not to care about other people’s opinion about us because sometimes, that’s one of our biggest fears and source of insecurities.

Alia Bhatt has played the role of Kaira very effectively, stubborn at the beginning and finally carefree in the end. She was beautiful in every scene and I love all the clothes she wore, very casual and at the same time sexy (but not daring). This is one of the movies that will make you ponder that life is not complicated, we just complicate things. If you’re feeling lost, in a quarter-life crisis, feeling stuck, you will surely learn lessons in this movie that you can apply in the everyday uncertainties of life.

Rejection is Redirection

Rejection

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What is your biggest rejection so far and what did you learn from it? Here’s my story.

In 2014, when I was still an employee in a BPO (business process outsourcing) company, I was going through the quarter life crisis. At that time, I was no longer feeling fulfilled in my job and longed for a change. I wanted a job that I can settle for, and perhaps stay until I retire. The reason why I was actively looking online for job openings.  I ended up applying in a multinational bank for a sales post since I have a sales experience in a bancassurance industry back in 2010. It was a prestigious bank. I thought it will be great to be part of that institution and not really because I like the job. Yeah, doing things for all the wrong reasons. One of the mistakes that we make at one point in our lives. Sales post is a tough job, I had been there, I had done that, I know how mentally demanding the job is, but I still went for it. And so, I already had two interviews from the HR and from the head of one department, but I was told that a different department head will conduct another interview. I will describe the manager who conducted the interview. He’s a man, maybe around 40 years of age, looked intimidating, looked accomplished in his career, well spoken both in English and Filipino, wears a barong and black slacks, very professional looking.

It was the usual interview, “Tell me something about yourself, what was your previous sales experience, where do you see yourself 5 years from now, and the like.” At first, it went well. The turning point in the interview is when I was asked, “What is your passion?” I was taken aback, this is one of the hardest questions to answer because it’s telling about your vulnerability, that the other end might now understand what you really want to do in life. It’s very personal and it’s hard not to tell the truth. I stutter, because I know that the words and my answer to the question do not align in the job that I was applying for. I think he saw it in my eyes that it wasn’t really my passion to do sales. He saw and felt in my appearance, the way I speak and through my body language that I wasn’t fit for the job. I looked naïve, I was 24, and still figuring out how to live. All of us had been in that stage. And then I was told the most heartbreaking words and feedback in my life. The manager said, “You know what, I’m not gonna hire you, with your personality, you are not for sales. I see you as a goldfish, and the others in the production area are sharks, they’ll gonna eat you.” Deep inside, I was hurt, and I just sit silently listening to his remarks, nodding. I got his point, sales really isn’t something I am passionate to do, only applying for the prestige of the job and the company. At that moment, I wish I could vanish, I wish for the soil to just eat me, my morale was at my lowest and if there is anyone who will ask me, “Are you okay?”, I will definitely burst into tears. I was so sad that I had failed and that I was rejected right in front of my face.

But little did I know that rejection is a saving grace. I was being redirected by life into something else. A few months after arriving from a few days trip to Australia, I had an idea to go back to my real profession as a nurse in the college where I graduated and the hospital that I had my training 2 years before. And right there and then, I was accepted. I believe, if it’s meant to be, it will happen, sometimes, effortlessly. Then I realized, now I understand why I was not accepted in the sales post because it was not for me. I do not want to go through the stress and the demand of the job, the sales quota each month, the burden of generating sales for the company. I realized that my almost 2 years experience each in the bancassurance and BPO industry is part of my journey to where I am now. I am now turning 2 years as a nurse, and I must say, because of this, my life is now following a direction, no idea of the destination but it’s one thing leading to another.

I had experienced few more rejections after this, at work, in relationships, in applying for jobs but I always remember the lessons I learned from this experience. I was rejected because I am being redirected for something or someone else. Here is my message to everyone who would be able to read this post and is going through the same situation. Do not be discouraged. Do not give up. You have to actively look for your passion. Listen to your heart because most of the time it is true. If you’re not yet happy or satisfied with what you’re doing, just keep looking. You may not see the destination or the end point now, but step by step, it will be revealed to you. Trust in His will. Everything happens for a reason.

Quotes about rejection