On being contented…

October 27, 2018 marks my 2nd year of working in London. Time flies so fast. The reason why I always say this is because I’m enjoying everything that London is offering me. It’s a great experience and I will always be grateful for the opportunity that was given to me.

I can still remember three years ago, I was just staring at the facebook flyer inviting nurses to work in the United Kingdom. I was still a nurse back then in a medical surgical ward in a tertiary hospital in Manila. I remember the anxiety I felt when I took the IELTS (International English Language Testing System)  which was so expensive. The price at that time was around Php 9,000 and I used my own savings to pay for this exam.

To be honest, I am enjoying the place too much because I know in my heart that there will come a time that I would have to go back to the Philippines. When? I don’t know. All I know is that Philippines will always be my home and I will be back.

I love me. I would never want to trade myself for another person’s life. I love everything about myself, my body, my family, my work, my scars (literally and figuratively) and I would never want to change anything. God made me who am I and planted me in a place where I am meant to be.

You will never ever hear this statement from me before.

This is far from me when I was in elementary, high school, college and in my early 20s. I have a lot of insecurities when I was young and there was a lot of things about myself that I want to be changed. I disliked my eyes, my legs, my knees, my navel, being flat chested, my feet, my hands, my hair because I was comparing myself to my classmates and friends.

I used to tell myself, “I wish I have this, I have that”. I was so harsh on myself before. Now I have reached contenment. I appreaciate and love myself.

This statement is said with all sincerity, “Everyone is beautiful in our own unique way and we shouldn’t compare the physical attributes of one person with another.” She is beautiful, you are also beautiful, everyone is beautiful.

I have nothing more to ask. I am happy with my life, it isn’t perfect, but enough. I am thankful to the Lord, for the work of the Holy Spirit in my life and the change He has done in myself. I do not desire for travels, material things, more money or higher position anymore.

I have been attending the weekly sunday mass in St. Joseph’s church and the priest had repeatedly said in the homily not to compare yourself to other people and to be contented with what you are and what you have. He also mentioned to dream. He said, “You can dream whatever (said with all conviction, whateeeeever) you want, but do not do it at the expense of other people”. So true.

I was able to go to UK because I worked hard from it, not because a relative has helped me or someone I know from London helped to process the papers. In fact, I have an Auntie here in the UK and the only time she found out that I was here was when my sister posted a photo of my departure from NAIA. Probably because of my introvert personality, I was shy of letting other people know my goals and plans.

If I already have my own children in the future, I will tell them that they are free to choose whatever career they want to have in the future and to be able to reach for their dreams, they have to work hard for it (And I will be there behind their back). To never use other people to reach the top, but work hard to be there. And to always be kind and compassionate to other people – the greatest lesson from being a nurse. And never become materialistic and instead, invest on themselves and find joy in pursuing their passion by uplifting and inspiring other people. To not work for money but work because that’s what they love to do.

I don’t desire Louis Vuitton, Prada or Chanel bags. I don’t fancy diamonds or expensive travel vacations.

I love the simplicity of my dreams.

My dreams when I was young (innocent dreams) are still the same with my dreams now. It has never changed.

I have a non traditional mindset and most of the times, I find it discouraging when I tell my simple dreams to other people and all they say was, “Sayang naman” (what a waste). I am afraid of being judged and to spare myself from the negative comments I may receive, I just keep things to myself or pour them in this blog. I can really say that every person is unique. I have dreams that the people around me might not understand.

Now I know why I became a nurse. It is indeed a noble job. You will handle so many shitty things, you will have to answer so many complaints and even if your whole body and mind are dead tired, you find fulfillment in every smiles and thank you’s you will receive.

You will find joy in cleaning the wound of a patient who had a motorcycle accident and in giving analgesia and alleviating the pain of another patient. – My experience in my shift yesterday in A&E (Accient and Emergency) department of the hospital. It was my first time doing a bank shift (OT or overtime) in A&E and I did really enjoy working there. I will definitely book another shift in that area.

To sum this up, each of us has our own struggles and challenges in life. It doesn’t mean that others don’t have problems but because some people are just good at handling them.

That being said, we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others.

Let’s be contented in where we are in our life right now and let’s enjoy the ride!

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