I don’t know how will I start this post. But let me write these words first, that “my heart is overwhelming with LOVE for God”. I cannot describe the feeling. It’s not that I’m laughing everytime, but it’s more of like having smiles in my heart. Tears of joy flowing from the eyes of people with wounded heart, from the people with broken soul, from the lost flock of sheep- those were the heartbreaking and at the same time touching moments I’ve seen in Metro Manila Conference of Singles for Christ. Until now, I cannot contain my happiness. Speechless. It’s one of the most memorable events of my life this 2011. The description of my calendar in this blog site is: 2011:my best year ever. Looks like it is and will be more in the coming days and in the remaining days of this year.
Right now, I cannot talk a lot about MMC, ’cause like what I wrote, I’m speechless. Still absorbing everything that had happened and everything I had realized last Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (July 15-17, 2011). Is it possible to feel so gracious in life? Yes it is. Because Jesus is the stronghold of grace.
So many lessons I had learned. I remembered when I was listening in the radio a year ago, the topic is about LOVE. For years until I heard the talk in the radio, I cannot understand what people mean by saying “Love yourself first before you can love another”. I was wondering then, how can you say that a person is loving himself/herself and when a person is not loving himself/herself. One witty caller in the radio program explained that phrase. She said that when you love yourself, that love will outpour and that you can share it and give it to others. You cannot give what you do not have. You cannot give love if you do not have any love for yourself. Another illustration, when the boat is sinking and you want to save people, but you, at the very moment is also in danger. So the right thing to do is to save yourself first, then next, save others. ‘Cause how can you save others if you are not yet saved.
What’s the significance of the conversation in the radio program to MMC? It’s about healing the wounds in our heart. We’ve been in trials before or maybe experiencing trials now. There are emotional and psychological effects which we call, wounds of the heart. I realized that we have to face our problems. We should not escape it because no matter how we try to forget, we won’t, ’cause in the first place, it is not healed. We, people tend to cover our problems, because we thought we can escape it through that way. But in reality, it’s a big misconception. If we will look back on it, the pain we felt from the time we had it, is the same, or worse, more painful now than before. We didn’t notice that the wound got infected and the scar got bigger and deeper. Actually, this is one of the workshop’s topic in MMC. I was not a participant in that workshop but I asked people what was it all about. Now I understand things. And so, I should start healing. I also want to support others heal, but how will I help them if I’m not yet healed? I have to be honest to myself that there are still some issues in myself that I have to resolve. I need to start working on it if I want to help others.
See… If not because of SFC, I wouldn’t be able to know and recognize all these. The SFC community is a grace from God. And with Him, I can now have a grace-filled life. I love you Lord.