One fact about me is that I’m a worrier. Yes, i worry a lot. Worry about what? About anything and everything under the sun. Most especially, about the future. I wonder what lies ahead in terms of my career. Where am I heading? I graduated with a degree in nursing. I am intended to be a nurse. When I was studying, I was honed to take care of the sick, to be empathetic, to provide a quality life to the terminally-ill patients, to provide dignity upon their death. That is what I’m trained to be.
But where I am now? In a place where everything is new. I arrived in a new world. I am in a new world. A world where I thought I would not survive even for a few months. Trying something in life that I don’t have an idea is one of the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced so far. Before I said yes to this endeavor, I thought of it for a long time. Will I be able to give the demands of the job? Will I be productive? Am I capable? Kaya ko ba? Reaching that decision created a different path in my career. I did not choose to take the frequently traveled road nor the road less traveled by. Instead, I created a new road. A road where my heart tells me to be. And here is where I am now. Am I happy? Am I satisfied with everything that I’m doing? To be honest to everyone who’ll be able to read this, no I’m not. Something is missing. Something is lacking. I can’t really figure out this time what is it. But one thing is certain, I am confused. I’m not happy in where I am now but I can’t give it up. Nor would i want to go back in my previous profession.
There was one situation with my boss that I cannot forget until now. I felt like I was Basha in “One more chance”, in the scene when she was frequently scolded by her boss. After that encounter, I walked in the streets of Ayala Ave. with deep thoughts in my head. My mind was so preoccupied as if I was wandering.
But that is part of my journey in this world.
This is what I called life. This is the real world.