Heartfelt Desires

Problems of intimacy and social isolation

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I was watching TV this afternoon when I turned the channel on TV5. It was a showbiz oriented talk show, Paparazzi, with hosts Ruffa Gutierrez and Dolly Ann Carvajal. The guest is Miriam Quaimbao. They were asking Miriam what happened to her marriage and why she decided to end it. That was the first time, Miriam talked about it. The reason for the breakdown of her marriage is that, she felt neglected by her husband.  Her husband is an Italian businessman. In the nature of her husband’s job, he’s always traveling. And after they got married, Miriam left the Philippines to be with her husband in Italy, Hong Kong, and in different countries. It wasn’t easy for her to leave because her family is in here, she has a wonderful career in TV,  her friends are in here, but she sacrificed and left everything to be with the man she loved the most. When they were living in Italy, her husband is always away and she was left at home alone, with no friends, family and husband by her side. That was the time she felt depressed. She has no one to turn to and she was seeing psychologist then. She also said that after their wedding, her husband is no longer intimate with her. She observed that there’s no more emotional connection between them. She had recognized that problem but doesn’t have the strength to address it to him. Of course, as a wife, she wanted to be taken care of, to be given time, to be loved.  When they were just dating, before, she said that they’re always happy; that they’ve experienced no problem, and everything was perfect back then. And when they reached a point in their marriage that they felt that something is wrong, they don’t know how to face it, they don’t know how to handle it. And these were the reasons why she reached the decision of ending her marriage. With that experience, she was left with ample lessons in life.  ( I wrote this, August 7, 2010.)


After I watched that interview, I was bothered, that I just want to write the things that’s going’ around my head. I’ve realized that romance is really important in marriage. For me, as a girl, and as I view myself as a future wife of someone, it doesn’t matter to me how much wealth my future husband will be earning. I will not ask him to give me expensive gifts. Because giving of expensive gifts is like trying to buy someone else’s love. What really is important to someone is the time, with how you made his/her happy and being on the side of the person you love. Plus the support from the environment, the presence of family, friends or people who cares about you, whom you can talk to, share your experiences with, and laugh with. My deepest desire is for myself not to have a broken relationship with my future husband. And with a sincere hope that the relationship between me and my future family will not drift apart. We will share every moment together, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I’ve always have this in my mind, that my first priority when I get married will be my family, next to God.

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